Little did I know... The joke's on me!

In February of 2011 I had had enough. Justin was going out with the missionaries at least weekly and I felt that between school, work and life in general, we didn't get to spend enough time together. So I told him he had to cut back the time with the missionaries. The next week he was called as the ward mission leader. While he did specifically tell them that Fridays were date nights and not to ask him to go out with them then, I learned to accept the fact that we'd be hanging out with the missionaries a lot.


With the impending arrival of bébé Bush, I realized that because both of us have been in our respective callings more than a year and a half, chances were that one of us would be released since they're both a little demanding (moreso on Justin's part. I love my calling as Primary President and because of my awesome counselors, it's not demanding so much). While I was sad one or both of us would be released, I was a bit relieved because between our work schedules and Justin being in school, I knew we'd need more down time to keep our wits about us.

I knew trouble was afoot though when our good friend, Napoleon Ortiz (the stake executive secretary), called Saturday night telling Justin that the stake presidency needed to speak with Justin and to bring me with him. He also said to skip ward counsel (which is always okay with me). You see, our ward has been without a fully functioning bishopric for close to a month. Our former bishop had been transferred (he works for FEMA and everyone knew he wouldn't be here very long) and one of the counselors had been out of town the last few weeks leaving one of the other counselors to serve as the acting bishop. And my dad had said we'd be getting our new bishop within a week or two. So putting two and two together, I was a bit nervous... As I should have been.

Justin was called as the second counselor in our ward's bishopric.

This is just amusing to me. What makes it even better is that the bishop isn't even 30 yet and has the face of a teenager. Luckily the other counselor is around their dads' age, so I think he'll help keep them in line... In all seriousness, I'm not too surprised about the new bishop or the other counselor. The new bishop was our Elder's Quorum president and, while quite literally a comedian, is a stellar guy. The other counselor hasn't lived here very long, but when the preisthood was assigned to help clean up after Isaac, he was out there every weekend helping. But Justin being called was a bit surprising. Not that I don't think he's amazing. He's the best guy I know! But it was still a bit funny. Looking at this picture I can't help but laugh.

The B Bishopric and the Stake Presidency:
J. Bush, D. Brown, G. Bryant, President Garcia (my dad), President Stock, President Whipple

Plus, as my brother Brian said, "Now you get to go to High Priest socials." Yay?

While I still laugh at the idea that my 26-year-old husband is now a member of the bishopric, I am reminded of the blessing I received from my mission president when I was heading home five years ago. In the blessing he said, "You will have many opportunities to share your husband with the Lord and others as he serves in various callings. Do so with a willing and happy heart." I guess I just didn't realize what that meant. I am a bit nervous to see how things will go since the phone calls started as we left church and he still has his internship, school, and we have a baby coming soon, I simply remember that blessing and the fact that the Lord knows us individually and won't give us more than we can handle

Pregnancy Meltdowns

As most reading this blog will know, I'm not a very emotional person. I think in the past five years I can count the number of times I've cried on one hand. Pregnancy has made me cry more (at the anatomy scan, with last week's tragedy, randomly), but I haven't had a meltdown. Until yesterday.

Justin and I recently moved. It was time for us to leave my parents' place and stop mooching off of them. He works part time as an intern with a firm that will hire him once he graduates, and I work full-time as a project assistant at Tulane. While we aren't destitute, we definitely aren't rolling in money. When we were first married we really wanted to start our family. We weren't entirely sure how we'd work it out, but thought we could do it. However, after meeting with several doctors we were told, "unless you have medical intervention, you will not be getting pregnant." It was sad, but we decided to continue with school and that I'd work while Justin was in school. We'd approach the baby topic again after Justin graduated and we were stable financially (one of the many blessings of marrying an engineer is that it isn't hard for him to find a good job after school). Three years later we were quite surprised when we found out that I was pregnant- without medical intervention (since the doctor's told me I couldn't get pregnant with help, I stopped my BC about 6 months after we got married).

Originally my plan was to return to work part-time (since that would be the least I could work to get benefits and we wouldn't necessarily need government assistance), but last week the dean I work for said, "we can't switch you to part-time anymore. You'll need to stay on fullt-time." I was sad but mostly frustrated since I'm less than three months away from delivering and hadn't planned on needing day care (the plan was that between Justin, my awesome SIL Ashley and I we were going to watch bébé Bush).

I immediately got started on the daycare search but most of the good places are way too expensive for our budget and even then, they have almost year-long waiting lists. I even checked out what was available on campus and the cheapest I found (with my discount) was almost $300 more than we could afford. So yesterday Justin and I started visiting the few that are closer to our budget (although still a bit pricey). They're pretty depressing, but I don't know what else to do. On our drive home last night he said, "I don't want to put out kid in daycare. I feel like it robs us of the chance to be parents. I mean, we could see if you can quit or find another part-time job so you can spend time to take care of the baby and I can adjust my schedule so I can have time to take care of the baby." The thing was, I wish it was true. As anyone who knows me well knows, I DON'T love my job (my direct boss is a royal jerk, but has tenure so while the dean and other program directors know how he is, they can't do anything about it). But I honestly don't see anyone wanting to hire a 7 months pregnant woman. Plus, I don't see how we could make everything work. I just feel trapped. I know lots of woman have had to make this decision, but it doesn't make it any less difficult...

On a happier note, our new place is amazing. It's a townhouse we rent for less than $700/month and while it appears it was built by a giant because the cabinets are so high and the mirrors in the bathrooms are too high for me to look into, it's great and cozy. Blessings with frustrations, right?

What's in a name?

The name discussion has begun. While I, like most women I'm guessing, have had names I've "picked out" for my kids since I was 5, I am also doing my best to involve Justin in the process. He hasn't really had a lot of suggestions so I've just been throwing random and not-so-random names out at him (Cletus and Hezekiah being two of the most recent). This is all fun and such, but the thing is, I really want my kid's name to have meaning behind it; not just something I think is cute or nice sounding. I mean, yes, I want I want to like the sound of the name and I don't want my kid to hate the choice, but I am kind of big into naming my kid after fictional or real life characters that have left an impression on me. Easily enough, Justin and I have already decided that if we have a girl her name will be Anne.

With an "E" of course.

But what about boy names? While I have my favorite, I am a little hesitant to share it. Mainly because Justin is not set on it yet and I don't want to seem pushy about it. But he's slowly coming around to it now that he's finally reading the book the name came from and realizing the character is a truly exemplary one. But like I said, I don't want to make him agree with me (although I will use manipulation if necessary. Just kidding. Kind of... ). Also, I am of the opinion that maybe when we first see the baby he may not be a _____ but something else. Although, to be honest, when I first saw that he was a he, my first thought was, "Little (one of the names below)" So I guess that at this point it's best to come up with a list of names. Here's a pictoral list of our my favorites and their namesakes. And yes, I realize these names are different...

Atticus

Gideon

Oscar

Timothy (yeah, that's the best picture I could find....)



William (the character's last name is even perfect!)



Calvin (actually, this is a family name. But I don't have a picture of those Calvins. Plus, I have a feeling our kid may be like this Calvin).

Harrison (after Justin's maternal grandpa who is pretty awesome as well as.....)

Harrison (my favorite Beatle)

What do you think? How have you chosen names for your kids (whether you have any yet or are like me and chose lists of names before having any)? 

Bed Rest

I posted about being on bed rest for the weekend and realized I hadn't really explained why. Mainly because I don't want to be that TMI person on Facebook (you know the ones I'm talking about) and also because I'm still not sure how I ended up here exactly.

On Friday night Justin and I were driving home from Target when a car cut us off. In order to avoid an accident J had to slam on the brakes. As he did (I was looking down) my head jerked a little, but more so  it felt like something in my lower belly had been ripped away. Kind of as if everything was Velcro stuck to a board with matching pieces and something had been quickly pulled from said board. the rest of the evening there was dull pain there, but I didn't think much of it so I went to bed. The next morning my neck was incredibly sore, but so was my stomach. I called my doctor and gotten the on-call doctor, but he said that unless there was a large amount of blood (I only had a little) I shouldn't worry. As the day wore on, so did the pain. Except that randomly it felt as though my muscles *down there* would cramp up and then release. As the pain continued I grew a little more worried and tried to do some research but everything I read freaked me out. By 4pm the pain was pretty strong so I went to the ER.

I've got to admit, I'm not much of a crier. I was when I was younger, but since people made fun of me for it I learned to toughen up and am known in my family for "being heartless" because I cry so little. But I'll tell you what, when you hurt like that and you're worried about your baby, you can't help but cry. I cried when I checked in to the ER, I cried when they were taking my vitals, I cried when they checked for bébé's heartbeat (but that was a relieved cry). I was just a ball of nerves.

They went through the basics checking me and the baby. He was in perfect shape. For the most part I was too. But after they did an ultrasound they found what is called a venous pool or placental lake. Basically, it's a pool of blood (mine specifically being 2cm) between the placenta and uterus. While these aren't uncommon (they happen in about 18% of pregnancies) because of my accident they wanted me to be observed. Lucky for me, they weren't going to do it at the hospital. They sent me home with the charge of staying in bed/rested as much as possible (I'm breaking the rules by going to sacrament meeting) until I can see my Dr. tomorrow morning and get a follow-up ultrasound to make sure it hasn't gotten larger. Apparently these things don't harm the baby (thank goodness) except that if they get too large they can restrict growth and cause low birth weight.

So here I am hanging out in bed shirking my responsibilities (who am I kidding, it's nice to have a mandatory break from Primary, as wrong as that sounds) and reading up on placental lakes as well as a few novels I've neglected over the past few days. If you're interested in learning about them, here is a link I've found useful: http://www.perinatology.com/Q&A/qanda37.htm

Bébé Buisson

When Justin was on the mission he caught a lot of flack because it was 2005-2007, he is from Texas AND has the last name of Bush. One ward in particular was ESPECIALLY cold towards him (it was Calais, the unofficial HQ of the communist party in France and most members were part of that political party) to the point  where he asked the mission president if he could get a new nametag with the French equivelant of Bush, Buisson, printed instead of his actual last name. The mission president said he would if Justin ever got beaten up. Needless to say, he stayed Elder Bush the full two years.

When we went to have our anatomy scan/gender ultrasound we I was really nervous. I had heard of stories of non-compliant babies who don't "show the goods" and leave parents and stenographers guessing until he/she comes out. It's not that I cared whether it would be a boy or girl, I just wanted to know so I could plan ahead. And by plan ahead, I mean make seriously cute onesies and such.

So away we went to the doctor's and were quickly taken back to see. Unfortunately Justin didn't get to sit by me so I couldn't see his reactions. I was in one corner and he was sitting in the opposite corner of the room while we both looked up at the tv in the corner we both faced. I really am of the conclusion that the reason why most parents, okay, maybe just myself, cry during visits like this is because a) I'm glad I didn't do something to kill my baby and b) the nerves are too great.

The sonographer got started and to be honest, neither of us could clearly tell what we were looking at. But we saw the heartbeat and she did audio so we could hear that he has a regular heart beat (which was a concern to me since I don't). Okay, fear number 1 over. Next the sonographer began measuring the different parts of the body and labeling them for the doctor. I couldn't really tell what each was supposed to mean except for leg and arm, but whatever, there was a heartbeat.

She double checked and said, "you want to know the sex, right?" "Yep" I said and she had to work a bit for it. Eventually she got the legs to open and it seemed relatively clear what this kid would be. An awesome little boy! Needless to say, he does not take after his semi-exhibitionist maternal uncles and cousins, but that's okay. I cried a little. At first I thought it was a boy and I wanted it to be a boy. But then I thought, "But girls are really fun and cute too!" so then I wanted and thought it was a girl. The closer we got to finding out though I thought, "It's going to be a boy. Even though I kind of want a girl." Honestly, all I wanted was a healthy baby and that was good enough for me. Before the stenographer came in I made Justin give me his last-minute predictions and after I said boy he said, "well, I'll say girl. One of us has to be right then."

When the doctor came in and was a male Justin finally felt a bit more at ease to address his concern with the doctor that he hadn't shared with the female stenographer of myself. "Are you sure it's a boy? I just don't see it." The doctor laughed and walked to him and said laughing, "Your son is only 18 weeks. And about this big," holding out his hands. "That means it is only about this big. Give him a break. He's only a little guy right now."

While I won't lie, now I'm afraid they might be wrong (especially since after telling coworkers several came up saying, "Yeah, they said my sister-in-law/cousin/pastor's wife was going to have a boy and he ended up being a she.") I'm still excited that for right now, bébé Buisson will more than likely be a boy. Because now I get to start "planning ahead". I mean, look at how cute these onesies are!!

Spilling the Beans

Well, the secret's out. Today in ward council after I left early to set up chairs in the Primary room one of the brothers whose wife I am good friends with spilled the beans. He had been talking about how it was unnecessary to send EQ brothers to set up for RS activities when it would only be a table and a few chairs if the sisters were capable of doing it on their own. While I agreed with him, I left a bit peeved because I had sat there for almost an hour talking about non-essential stuff and we hadn't even gotten to discuss the things you should be talking about in ward council. But this poor brother was afraid he had hurt my feelings so he piped up and said to Justin "I didn't mean your wife. I don't mind helping her set stuff up in the Primary. I mean, she's pregnant."

This was the front of a postcard we sent out to extended family

Yep! The word's out! It seems more people are interested in sharing my news than I am (not that I'm not happy, I just find that I'm kind of a private person when it comes to certain things; plus I'm not a huge fan of unsolicited advice). He tried to quickly brush it over, but the Bishop and his counselors who didn't know clutched on to it and wouldn't let it slip until Justin (the ward mission leader and another regular at w.c.) confirmed. I've slowly accepted the fact that by the end of the day my pregnancy would be the ward's worst kept secret. I guess it's about time; I'm 18 weeks and we have "the big reveal" this week.

I think my natural worrier tendencies have been amplified to an abnormal level during my pregnancy. Even though with my previous two ultrasounds the doctor kept saying the baby looked very healthy and very active (and a bit larger than my due date would suggest) and the last appointment when we finally heard the baby's heartbeat confirmed the baby was still in there, I can't help but worry about EVERYTHING. "I'm only going to take a sip of this Coke Zero." "I'm going to tough out this headache and not take the Tylenol." "Crap! How can I NOT sleep on my stomach?!". But early on in the pregnancy Justin gave me a blessing and reminded me that Heavenly Father was in charge of this and that whatever happened is what He knew was best for us and this baby. So when I start freaking out about whether or not I should have cleaned the bathroom with XYZ cleaner, I just remind myself that whatever happens is as it's supposed to be.

A few funny things about this pregnancy though:

We've been referring to the baby by whatever fruit/vegetable it is closest to in size. (we use this chart)  For example, two weeks ago the baby was equivalent in size to an avocado. Thus this post on Justin's wall the other week.

It's supposed to be giving a high five, but my Microsoft Paint skills are pretty pathetic.

 We're big on high fives. So whenever something awesome happens, we give the baby "high fives" too.

While I have had an abnormal appreciation for salt and vinegar and pickle chips, what this kid has wanted most is anything spicy.

I have been referred to as both a "young mom" (mostly from people at work) and an "old mom" (I won't say by who). Who knew 29 was such a divisive age to have your first child?

I guess my fears, fascination and such with this pregnancy is based on the fact that I honestly felt this was something that wouldn't happen and I'm just worried it will be taken away before I get the chance to experience it. As a bit of background, I've been off of birth control for more than two years because my previous OB/GYN said I had so many fertility issues that it would be impossible for me to get pregnant without medical assistance. Justin is still in school for 2.5 more years and the insurance we have through work, while awesome, doesn't cover IVF treatments, so I just pushed it in the back of my mind and while praying it would happen, began losing hope that it would. With two+ years of nothing happening, I figured that my doctor was correct. So Justin and I have been serving in the temple for the last several months. I figured, "well, what better way to fill our time since we don't have a kid to fill in our time not occupied by school, work and callings?" Lo and behold, that's all it took to get a little bit more divine assistance!

So now that the word is out, what are your bets for baby? Boy or girl? We would be happy with either. Justin's felt the whole time that it would be a girl. I've gone back and forth... We'll see on Wednesday!

James 1

I've been slowly making my way through the New Testament recently. Today I made it to James 1. My former-missionary self automatically recited James 1:5-6 (in French, no less), and then I tried to remember some of the other versus and my mind went blank. So I began reading.

As I read, I was struck by the many ways verse 5 could be interpreted. Just prior to this verse Timothy was talking about how when we have trials, we have opportunities to develop our faith and patience and that we should be grateful for these opportunities. Maybe it's my pessimistic self, but it's hard for me to be grateful for trials. I think that's why verse 5 stuck out to me in such a different manner. I think we're not only limited to when we have a question such as "Is the Church true?" kind of questions, but also, "Why do I have to go through this?" kind of questions. Going off of the verses prior to 5 and the footnotes, I think it's equally valid to ask Heavenly Father for wisdom, understanding, and, my favorite from the footnotes, divine guidance when we go through trials. But, as verse  cautions, we need to be steadfast and focused in our efforts to understand the Lord and the Spirit as He teaches us. And we must be ready and willing to act upon whatever we are counselled to do.

Continuing in the chapter I read about temptation and how temptation never comes from God because only that which is good and true comes from Him. But that temptation is Satan's way of trying to rock us at our basest insticts and desires. For example, anger doesn't come from God. Lashing out at others and ill will doesn't come from God. If we expect mercy, we need to give it, even if we don't think they deserve it. I thought of Christ throwing out the money changers from the temple. But I think that is different. He had a larger understanding than we do. If you compare it to Moses who struck the rock out of anger with the children of Israel (which is understandable to most of us), consider the consequences Moses had as a result and the blessings he missed out on. When we give in to temptation we lose sight of who we are and our eternal purpose.

Towards the end, Timothy talks about those who claim to be religious but do not change their ways. To be a "religious" person, or one changed by the Atonement of Christ, we need to turn from our previous selves. Specifically, Timothy brings up gossiping and later charity. He states that when we have a changed heart we look past others' weaknesses and faults and help them with pure charity, which is the love of Christ. We help the widows and fatherless who struggle differently than we do. We also keep ourselves away from the vices of the world which range from such serious deeds as murder or lying, to such "insignificant" deeds as the ones previously mentioned- lack of charity towards all men and gossiping.

As I was thinking about what this entire chapter meant as a whole, I went back to my new idea of verse 5. When we are going through trials and temptations, we can turn to Heavenly Father for divine guidance and understanding. Not turning to Him is foolishness on our part. But oftentimes what He will tell us is similar to what Elder Bednar told our stake in January- turn outward. It's easy to get caught up in our own world. Moreover, the world tells us that when times are difficult, we should focus on ourselves. But Christ taught us by His example on the cross itself, to turn outwards and consider others first.

Am I a living example of what James 1 says? Hardly. As several people have pointed out to me recently, I'm angry, bitter, and unpleasant to be around. (I've tried to blame it on pregnancy mood swings, but I can only blame it on those for the past two months- surprise!). But I've recently been trying to change (despite how it may seem) and I think this chapter was an answer to many prayers. I'm working on it. And while my natural tendency might be to blame it on something other than myself, my goal is to overcome the natural man as we are so strongly urged to do in the Book of Mormon and not get stuck in that basic hurdle but to move past it and try to learn from my trials.